Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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