dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
this boner is exhausting
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
