would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize