And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
