and my herpes radar will keep us safe
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
