I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
