i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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