why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize