you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
