I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
