So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize