you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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