shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
