More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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