if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
this boner is exhausting
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
