Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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