It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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