please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
