So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think a kid would responsible me up
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
