Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize