Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
