Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
