babies were throwing up all over the place
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
