so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
