i need an iv and a liver transplant
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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