You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
