I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
