Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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