I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i out mim tonsoeep
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