Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
