I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
