He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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