the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
