But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
