Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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