I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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