i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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