If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
