I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
