A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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