I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
