alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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