yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
