take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
