I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
