There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
