Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize