i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
