Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
