how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
