i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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