Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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