I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize