grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize