I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize