I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
