I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
