I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
