Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
