Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Is this like a preordered booty call?
i believe in u and ur pee
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
