My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
