The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
