one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
