Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
