so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
