so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
