i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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