The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
