shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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