Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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